Started a new relationship with your favorite person? You may have certainly developed same talking style and habits. But, relationships are confusing right? Establishing insecurities in a relationship even after having all the love and trust for your partner is quite common. There’s nothing new about it. Normally, in a new relationship, a person is uncertain about the future with it’s partner. And when the butterflies start to subside after honeymoon period, the feelings of uncertainties and doubt about the success of your relationship can go a long way. All these worries and insecurities that have the power to affect your relationship are known as Relationship Anxiety. Relationship anxiety can give you a long lasting anxiety making you more angry, lonely and sad. It is easy to know about some common relationship anxiety symptoms that are easy to identify and can be prevented easily. These are the top 20 signs of relationship anxiety that you must know:

1. Doubting partner’s feelings for you lead to relationship anxiety

Even after you both have exchanged “I love you” and committed to be in the relationship, you start questioning their feelings for you. A little late reply, a short fight and all of their actions makes you think that your partner has no more romantic feelings for you. You may be thinking for a validation and nothing makes your doubt go away.

2. Avoiding the important steps of relationship

A successful relationship calls for following certain steps; saying “I love you”,having sex, planning family, introducing each other to family and friends, going out are all necessary to make the thing going. A person with relationship anxiety will avoid these steps due to his/her fear of rejection and he/she will eventually hurt the partner’s feelings.

3. Wondering if you matter in the relationship

Couple shall show that they matter for each other in a relationship. You should take care of your partner’s needs, prioritize them and spend quality time with them. A partner who suffer from relationship anxiety feels this sign that if he would be help her when she needs support or if she would be with him because of what he can do for her.

4. Doubting about your long term compatibility causes relationship anxiety

If you are into a new relationship just after a few days of dating, it is definite that you both will learn new things about each other with each passing day. And, here comes this question. Worrying about the long term compatibility of a relationship even if everything is working nice in a relationship in a comon relationship anxiety trigger. You like calm music but the other person likes loud one, and this question comes up in your mind.

5. Thinking that your partner wants to break up

People who are in love makes all the efforts to avoid any breakage in their relationship. This makes them even adjust their behavior to secure the love leading to stress. That’s a usual relationship anxiety symptom that people think that their partner wants a breakup from them. This thought is not backed by any reason and just their stress is saying so.

6. Keeping secrets adds to relationship anxiety

Any strong relationship demands a couple to be honest and truthful. But when these two pillars of relationship are damaged, it becomes a stress. One of the symptoms of relationship anxiety is keeping secrets from your part. This can be due to no open communication with your partner or due to lack of honesty.

7. Overthinking about their words and actions

People with a relationship anxiety has the symptom of over analyzing their partner’s words and actions. Maybe, a sarcastic comment of the partner makes you feel bad and you keep estimating what your partner meant by this all day long. Maybe, your partner don’t want to hold hands while walking and this irritates you. Reading too much into their actions and words can trouble your love life and emerge into a potential issue.

8. Thinking that something wrong is going to happen

Both good as well as bad moments constitute a perfect relationship. When your relationship is going well without any troubles and you both are enjoying life peacefully, it’s okay to face some negative moments. But, even when everything is fine, people having relationship anxiety symptoms thinks that something wrong is going to disturb their happy romantic life. This fear makes you forget the positives of your relation and you just wait for things to get worse

9. Deliberately damaging the relationship

People who suffer from symptoms of relationship anxiety often try to sabotage their relationship. The fear that thinks might not work anyway, makes the person destroy the connection. You start getting into argument with your partner, not telling them when you’re in distress and plan something to test relationship boundaries. This happens just because people doubt their connection even when everything is going well.

10. You avoid your partner

A happy couple loves to spend time together. But, people who have sign of relationship anxiety try to push away their partner. They want to avoid any type of contact with your partner as when you get in person with them, a sense of embarrassment and fear surrounds you. You don’t feel comfortable talking and opening up and hampers your relationship.

11. Not having trust in partner

a couple communicate with each other to reassure each other that they still have the same affection. But, the relationship anxiety triggers a person to not believe their partner’s feelings. Your brain tells you that your partner don’t love you anymore or it saying so just to please you and doesn’t mean it really. Even with the constant efforts a partner makes to communicate the love, your brain is asking for a validation of such feeling.

12. Finding reasons to break up

A person who is triggered with relationship anxiety will try to find any possible reason to break with his/her partner. They are so stressful that they are not accepting the positives of their connection together. Even if things are going well and you like your partner, you may not be ready to make things last long and look for an opportunity to quit.

13. Comparing your relationship with others

If you comparing your relationship with others, this is a symptom that you are anxious about your love life. Even if your relationship is facing all the good moments, you may be thinking of something else. You have your own ideal versions of relationship in your mind and often compare your connection with that of your friend or relative. But, every relationship is different and comparing it will make only you suffer.

14. You are controlling your partner

Your personal worries and insecurities about the relationship will trigger you to force the actions of your partner and demand them to do what to want to do. You are stopping your partner to go to a friend’s party or making them come to a family event. Your over possessive controlling behaviour and jealousy will lead to a mismatch in yours attachment style that can make your relationship stressful.

15. Checking your partner’s text

If you are not able to trust your partner, this is a relationship anxiety trait that shouldn’t be ignored. Lack of trust is enough to ruin any relationship. And, your insecurities and past bad experiences can tempt your mind to look at your partner’s mobile phone. Everyone have their privacy and it should be respected. But checking their text behind their back makes you more untrustworthy.

16. Remembering the good old times

Couples who have spent some time together generally builds a common understanding for each other. They enjoy good times and create memories together. But a person having relationship anxiety will spend more time worrying about the past time of his life rather than enjoying the present moment. It is okay to do so in sad moments but if you are thinking more of past then it is a relationship anxiety symptom.

17. You become irritating

Having arguments and fights with the partner is part and parcel of any relationship. If you are constantly being irritated that makes you having a short temper with your partner and treating them rudely, this is a relationship anxiety sign. You will notice that you are fighting more and you are being critical with your partner even with small issues.

18. You are getting clingy

Instead of being truthful and secure, you attachment style is getting more and more insecure. As a result, you are getting clingy and this leads to relationship anxiety. The fear of your partner leaving you makes you stay close to them for support, love and protection. This may be due to relationship trauma and can lead to a lot of problems.

19. Silencing yourself

Being different personalities, it’s completely okay to have different opinions about something and it’s also fine to show your point of view to your partner. But sometimes, due to the fear that their partner will not accept their view, one tends to not raise the issue. The fear of avoiding any argument with the partner and compromising with your own standards and values just to save the relation is a symptom of relationship anxiety.

20. Fear about intimacy

Getting intimate with the partner can be a great matter of concern in the initial days of the relationship. It is very common to have sex related anxiety. This anxiety shall pass away after getting sexually intimate. However, if this anxiety has still not subsided, it’s a sign that you are suffering from relationship anxiety.

The modern relationship goals and standards have given way to even more complex problems that couples are facing in daily life. Relationship anxiety is very common in new daters, but now even a mature couple is facing these symptoms. It’s okay to worry a little about the future of you both as a couple and your compatibility, but if this fear is overrunning your mind such that you are not enjoying your relation, you are experiencing relationship anxiety. This anxiety is more due to your low self esteem or mismatched attachment style and can be easily cured with some basic lifestyle changes.